Raise Up A Child

Scripture

“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6

Additional Scripture References

Deuteronomy 6:6-7 · 1 Corinthians 11:1 · Ecclesiastes 7:10 · Ephesians 6:4 · Matthew 7:17 · Psalm 127:3 · Joshua 24:15

Main Idea

Pastor Nathan’s grass wouldn’t grow. He tried more water, less water, iron, fungicide, even prayer. Nothing has quite yet "worked", because the real problem wasn’t on the surface. It was in the soil. Parenting works the same way. We keep treating what we can see, like grades, attitudes, and behavior, while ignoring what’s happening underneath. Proverbs 22:6 isn’t primarily about behavior. It’s about roots. Before it’s a promise, it’s a command: intentionally cultivate the heart of your child. Because if the roots are healthy, the fruit eventually follows.

Raising Is More Than Providing

Scripture

“These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” Deuteronomy 6:6-7

Overview

Our culture has reduced parenting to providing. Bills paid, food on the table, kids in sports? Job done. But God’s definition goes deeper. You can give your child everything they want while neglecting everything they need spiritually. And notice where God begins in Deuteronomy 6. Not with the child. With the parent. You cannot consistently pass down what you are unwilling to pursue yourself. Children don’t become what parents expect. They become what parents consistently model.

YOUR CHILDREN WILL FOLLOW YOUR EXAMPLE LONG BEFORE THEY FOLLOW YOUR ADVICE.

Deeper Dive

The Hebrew word for “train” is chanak, and it literally means to dedicate, initiate, or set on a path. It’s the same root behind Hanukkah, the feast celebrating the dedication of the temple. In Scripture, it’s used for setting apart a house or temple for God’s purposes. So when Solomon says “train up a child,” he’s picturing parents dedicating a life to God the way Israel dedicated a temple. Not passive. Not accidental. Intentional from day one.

Deuteronomy 6 backs this up. These verses come right after the Shema, the prayer faithful Jews recited every morning and evening: “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.” God’s design was that faith would be passed down in the ordinary rhythms of home life. Sitting. Walking. Lying down. Getting up. Not one hour on Sunday. The home was always meant to be the first place a child encounters God, and the parent the first preacher they hear.

Questions

• If your child or future child lived exactly like you, prayed like you, and pursued Christ like you, would you be excited about the Christian they become?
• Where have you confused providing with parenting? What would shaping hearts look like in your home this week?

Stop Parenting Yesterday’s Generation

Scripture

“Do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4

Overview

“Back in my day…” The problem isn’t remembering your childhood. The problem is assuming your kids are growing up in the same world you did. They’re not. They carry the internet in their pocket. They live in constant comparison. Many wrestle with anxiety, loneliness, and identity before they even graduate. The battlefield has changed. The Gospel has not. Complaining about this generation has never changed this generation. Understanding them might. Paul doesn’t tell fathers to dominate their children. He tells them to disciple them. That requires relationship, not just rules. Because rules without relationship often create resentment instead of righteousness.

YOU CANNOT DISCIPLE A GENERATION YOU REFUSE TO UNDERSTAND

Deeper Dive

Some historical context makes Ephesians 6:4 hit harder. In the Roman world, a father held patria potestas, absolute legal power over his children. He could disown them, sell them, even decide whether a newborn lived. Then Paul writes to Christian fathers and says: don’t provoke them, bring them up in the instruction of the Lord. That was radical. Paul takes the most powerful person in the ancient household and hands him a responsibility instead of a privilege: nurture, don’t dominate.

And Solomon’s warning in Ecclesiastes 7:10 is surprisingly modern. Nostalgia feels wise, but he calls it foolish, because it’s usually selective memory. And ^{looking backward keeps us from ministering in the present.} Jesus never asked culture to be convenient before He engaged it. He entered it, understood it, and spoke truth into it. That’s the model: stand on Scripture, and know your kids’ world well enough to answer the questions they’re actually asking.

Questions

• What battles are your kids (or the kids around you) fighting that you never had to fight? How well do you actually understand them?
• Where has “control” quietly replaced “discipleship” in your parenting? What’s one way to build relationship this week, not just enforce rules?

Raise Them Before The World Does

Scripture

“Every healthy tree bears good fruit.” Matthew 7:17
‍“Children are a heritage from the Lord.” Psalm 127:3

Overview

The grass mystery finally got solved with a soil test. The soil was missing nutrients, so everything above ground suffered. Isn’t that exactly what happens in many homes? We spend years fixing behavior while neglecting the heart. Frustrated by the fruit, never examining the roots. But Jesus never tells us to force fruit onto a tree. Healthy fruit is the natural result of healthy roots. Your greatest responsibility isn’t behavior management. It’s heart cultivation. And ^{church, youth ministry, and Christian schools can’t replace what God intended to happen around your dinner table.}

THE GREATEST LEGACY YOU CAN LEAVE YOUR CHILDREN IS A HOME THAT LOVES JESUS.

Deeper Dive

Roots and fruit run all through Scripture. Psalm 1 pictures the blessed person as a tree planted by streams of water, bearing fruit in season. Jeremiah 17 uses the same image: trust in the Lord and your roots reach the stream, so drought can’t stop the fruit. God never treats fruit as the starting point. Fruit is the evidence. What’s planted, watered, and rooted underneath always determines what shows up above ground. That’s why behavior modification alone always disappoints. You can staple apples to a dead tree, but you haven’t grown anything.

Psalm 127:3 adds one more layer: children are a heritage from the Lord. The Hebrew idea is an inheritance or trust, something God hands you to steward, not something you own. Your kids were God’s before they were yours, and He entrusted their spiritual formation to your home first. Youth ministry, Connect Groups, and Christian schools all help. But they were designed to reinforce the dinner table, not replace it. Stewards don’t delegate the treasure. They cultivate it.

Questions

• Be honest: is the spiritual atmosphere of your home mostly outsourced to church? What’s one “nutrient” missing from your soil: prayer, Scripture, worship, or repentance?
• The world is discipling your kids daily through screens, friends, and influencers. Who’s actually doing the discipling in your house?

Summary

Proverbs 22:6 is a command before it’s a promise. God calls parents to intentionally cultivate the hearts of their children, not just provide for their bodies. That means leading by example, understanding the generation God actually gave us, and cultivating roots instead of forcing fruit. Stop treating the surface. Test the soil.

Call to Action

Today isn’t about guilt. It’s about responsibility. Pick one and start this week:

• Check your example. Maybe what’s been missing isn’t another rule. It’s you praying, worshiping, and repenting where your kids can see it.
• Enter their world. Ask your child one real question about what they’re facing, and just listen. No lecture.
• Feed the soil. Add one spiritual rhythm at home: prayer at dinner, Scripture in the car, conversations about Jesus outside of Sunday.
• Students: don’t wait for someone else to make your faith personal. Choose today whom you will serve (Joshua 24:15).

Prayer Prompts

• Ask God to show you the “soil” of your home: what’s missing beneath the surface that’s affecting the fruit.
• Confess where providing, control, or nostalgia has taken the place of real discipleship.
• Pray for each child by name, that their roots would grow deep in Christ before the world shapes them.
• Ask for the humility to lead by example and the courage to enter your kids’ world with truth and grace.